One of the things we always do when we’re in Pittsburgh is visit the graves of our parents and our paternal grandparents. We keep thinking we will look for the maternal grandparents, but we haven’t chased them down yet.

My father was, how should I put this…obsessed with grave maintenance. His father, and two of his older sisters died in a freak automobile accident in 1927. Their grave had a habit of sinking. So we would take dirt and sod and build the grave up so it was even with the surrounding graves. Accordingly, we tend to his grave in a similar manner.

This year, I finally remembered to bring a couple necessary items. I took a pair of grass clippers and a brush. We wanted to trim closer to the headstones than the mower can get, and we wanted to brush off and dead grass that has accumulated since last year. My father would recognize the brush–it was his when he operated a golf club repair business out of a pro shop at a local country club. The back of the brush once said, “Stolen from Pro Shop!” I sanded that off to avoid being embarrassed.

The grass clippers were handy as I was packing my car, but they are a pair we don’t us often. They were rusty, and I’m sure my dad would have noticed that. My brother and I joked about what he would say:

Those clippers

This post is part of Linda G. Hill’s fun weekly series One-Liner Wednesday. If you have a one-liner, and would like to join in on the fun, you can follow this link to participate and to see the one-liners from the other participants.

All five of my current books are now available in audio book form thanks to Amazon KDP’s Virtual Voice process. The voice is AI generated, but I can honestly say, it’s pretty darn good. The audio books are reasonably priced (all below $7 US) and, if you already own the Kindle version and want to add an audio version, you can do that for $1.99. There is a five-minute sample on the book page for each book. If you’re interested, click on any of the Dreamer’s Alliance book links below the image or on the link below for my latest book.

Bridge to Nowhere

104 responses to “Good Job…But – 1LinerWeds”

  1. How awful your grandfather and two of your aunts died in car accident, Dan. What a shock to your father. I chuckled when you said you sanded off the “Stolen…”
    I tried to use the Classic gallery for my last post but it didn’t work the way I did and it didn’t look like they way you arrnaged your photos. I’ll take time to play with it and see if I could figure it out.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My dad was only four years old when his father died. It was the beginning of some very tough times.

      In the settings for my gallery, I use “Thumbnail” for size, and “Tiled Mosaic” for style. I don’t know if that will help, but I hope it does.

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      1. I’m sure it was hard on your dad. My son-in-law’s dad died when he was seven. Then his mom died of cancer when he was thirty. I was there until two days before his mom died.

        Mosaic rings the bell. Let me try. Thanks, Dan.

        Like

  2. Great job on the grave maintenance. Lovely pictures too.

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    1. Thanks Sadje. We knew he’d be happy.

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      1. You’re welcome 👍🏼

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  3. I love what you think your dad would bof said… It would of been much the same as my dad would of said too!

    The photos are great the river the boats! The squirrels and bunnies are great too especially the action shot of the two birds taking off and Mr Squirrel just calmly going about his business oh! And Mimi on guard too so cute. The last three of the clouds colour and rays are just spectacular! 💜

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    1. Thanks Willow. I’m glad you like the photos. They’re a mixed bag, as I’m still sorting through ones I took while on vacation and adding some from here. The blue jays steal the peanuts, but as long as the squirrels get one, they don’t seem to mind. Taking care of tools was rule #1 with dad.

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      1. That was my dad’s maxim too😀 and the photos were amazing 💜

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  4. I love that you still maintain your parent’s grave. My mom’s name was Betty as well. I am very jealous of you for having that wonderful Polish lunch. Perogies are my favourite food. I quote my dad all the time!

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    1. Most Bettys are using nicknames for Elizabeth. My mom was proud of Betty. We love perogies, and they are a staple in Pittsburgh. My daughter Faith discovered the little deli where we get these years ago. They used to sell dinner plates in the store where they had some seating, but Covid put a stop to that. Now it’s ‘Grab ‘n Go’ take out, but it was just as good. We always seem to know what our dad would say ;-)

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      1. Betty was my mom’s given name as well. (and she made the best perogies!)

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        1. Mmmmm. It’s amazing how some perogies are so much better than others. In the first three books in my series, Zach’s father (John) was named after my dad, but his mother was never referred to by name. In the next book, I needed to give her a name. I went with Elizabeth – I’m guessing my mom would be mad, but I think she’d understand.

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          1. I have tried over and over to make mom’s perogies (from her recipe) but they are just never as good. My daughter-in-law makes some that come close. Your mom would understand, of course.

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            1. My wife makes pretty good perogies but she says they aren’t nearly as god as her mom’s. I guess that’s just the way things are. She also says that some ingredients aren’t as good as they were when our parents and grandparents were cooking.

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            2. She could be right.

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  5. Wonderful photos Dan. I completely get the family grave maintenance. As a kid it was a yearly summer thing to go to the cemetery and gay everything in proper order.

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    1. Yep, every year before Memorial Day, we would visit, and if anything was wrong, we would go back during the summer. In a small town, the cemetery is like the town history.

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      1. So true. It was a ritual. This little cemetery has the grave of an unknown from the revolutionary war.

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          1. Yeah. It’s a very moving little place. I remember as a very small child with my grandparents, dinners on the grounds of that tiny little church under giant oaks and afterwards tending the graves.

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  6. I saw people maintaining their loved one’s graves in Norway regularly. We wondered if it was family or whether they hired someone to do it for them. It’s beautiful that you and your brother do it for your parents and grandparents. We don’t have the concept of burial among Hindus.
    It’s lovely how little things remind us of our parents and make us smile.
    The picture 11 with the two birds and the squirrel nibbling is super cute.
    Enjoyed this post.

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    1. Thanks Smitha. We visit the graves every year. Last year, there had been some shifting of the ground around our parent’s grave. We called, and the cemetery was planning to repair the damage (it was widespread) so we didn’t have to. It brought back memories from our childhood. Customs regarding the deceased vary quite a bit. For us, it’s a peaceful time and a good chance to remember our parents and others.

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  7. I’ve always loved strolling through cemeteries, they’re such peaceful places. I’m sure your father would be pleased…as long as you steel wool those clippers.
    😉

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    1. They will be clean and coated before I put them back in the shed. When I was packing them, my wife said, “Your father would not approve of those clippers.” We do find these visits to be peaceful.

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  8. Wonderful remembrance of your father “obsessed with grave maintenance”! I am glad to hear you are still using his old brush to clean the headstones.

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    1. I was always forgetting to take a brush, Frank, but there was always dead grass blown onto the stone. When I remembered this time, it seemed appropriate to use his brush.

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  9. When I was a child and spending summers with my grandparents, I spent a fair amount of time in cemeteries. My grandfather would load up the lawn mower, and off we’d go in the evening after chores and dinner so he could mow various relatives’ graves. Visiting and maintaining graves is part of the boomer generation, but not so much the younger generations. No judgement, just the way it has evolved. You guys always seem to find good food on your get togethers. :-)

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    1. Faith enjoys going with us when we visit the graves, and she visits some around here that were special to her. Maybe it’s just a tradition that gets passed down, although I know some younger people that ignore it. In some visits, we walked around and explained who all the people were – it’s like a history museum if you can connect the dots. You made me remember that the maintenance didn’t stop with immediate family members.

      We have so many food places and items that we like to get in Pittsburgh, it’s always good eating.

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  10. I admire the love and respect you and your brother still show for your parents. I sure hope you have thoroughly gone over those grass clippers with steel wool so they’re in fine shape for your next visit. Your dad will be especially pleased!

    I like all the shots of the squirrels and birds sharing peanuts. But the photo of Sammy and MiMi having a stand-off is too darn cute. I think MiMi is letting Sammy know in no uncertain terms that it is not acceptable to leave all those peanut shells on her porch!

    The last three sky photos are blue ribbon winners!
    Ginger

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    1. The squirrels used to always take a peanut and run up in a tree. Now they seem to have noticed that it doesn’t rain on the porch. We have to go out with a broom to sweep those shells off. MiMi hung out at the door for a long time watching them. Being at the same level as the birds seemed to fascinate her.

      I will clean those clippers before putting them away. Next year, I’ll make sure I check them before we leave. We had thunderstorms in Pittsburgh the night I was leaving (I left that 5:00 am) and I was trying to outrun them until about the middle of Pennsylvania. The skies were amazing. I only snapped pictures when I could pull over safely, but I had to capture some of them.

      Like

  11. Great to see people caring for their elders, even after they are long gone. That final photo looks like a beacon to the future.

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    1. That’s kind of how it felt seeing that sky, GP. Like I was going in the right direction. Cleaning up around the headstone is a simple thing, but our father would definitely appreciate it.

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      1. I’m wearing a big smile right now – thanks.

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  12. The polish take-out and Point State Park photos brings me back to my own memories of Pgh. I sure did enjoy living there! I know your dad must be pleased you and your brother continue the maintenance of their cemetery spots…the little things mean alot.

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    1. We never visit without getting some Polish food. It’s such a Pittsburgh thing. It was good to see the fountain in operation. The last time we were there it was being repaired. Little things do mean a lot, and I know this would make our father happy. I think he’d be happier to know that we did the other graves – the ones he had maintained.

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      1. Do what you can, right? He’ll deal with you later!

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  13. A lovely post, Dan. There’s a sense of nostalgia as we carry out the tasks that our parents once did, and take the time to reflect on the people they were and how they might have commented on our work. I can feel the affection for your dad in this. And great photos. There’s definitely some haiku in there. Lol. Have a great day.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Diana. I think you’re right about that sense of nostalgia. I didn’t mind doing these jobs when I was a kid, but I don’t think I understood the significance until I started doing them on my own.

      As for the haiku, after listening to your session with Rebecca (and Rebecca’s comment about poetry) I am thinking along those lines. It may take a while to get me off the fence, but…

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      1. :-) I couldn’t resist sticking that comment in there.

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  14. It is wonderful all the great memories (and quotes) you have from your dad. Steel wool is still the best sharpener as far as I’m concerned.
    So many great photos here, Dan. The sky photos are beautiful! And look at the birds in flight. Reminded me of that ball in mid-air from yesterday’s post. Snaps like those are hard to get!

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    1. I didn’t even know I had captured those birds, Lois. When I saw the picture, I was amazed. Steel wool does do a good job. I’ll work with it before I put those clippers away.

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  15. Nice squirrel and mailbox photo. It seems like it could be the start of a children’s book.

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    1. I probably have enough photos to illustrate a book ;-)

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  16. Lots of memories here.

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    1. Good ones, Maureen. I guess that’s part of why we go.

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  17. The headstone of your grandfather certainly has a story, with all the dates of departure being the same and the ages of the girls. Your yearly trip to maintain the graves is a wonderful tradition. You need to get an air controller to help with bird departures. Looks like a close miss. Great photos.

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    1. Thanks John. That headstone does tell a very sad story. Visiting the graves is somewhat cathartic as well. There are so many graves in those two cemeteries of families that we knew. The bird near collision was very close. Fortunately the blue jay was gaining altitude fast. We usually toss peanuts in the yard for the birds, but sometimes they don’t wait.

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  18. That’s a lovely tradition – my maternal ancestors are all buried in Monson but the paternal ancestors are all over the place. I plan to go back to visit my mother’s stone in October. I hope it’s not sinking!

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  19. That’s funny you filing off the humorous message on the pilfered brush. I understand about the ‘father echo’. I hear it every time I make the bed. Gotta have those tight ‘Navy corners’. That food looks really tasty. When we buried my Mom and went back the next day the grave had sunk in quite a lot. In Louisiana that is always a hazard. Fortunately the cemetery fixed it. That’s tragic about your grandfather and his daughters. 😔

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    1. It’s me up there, not Anonymous, Dan. WP. 🤦‍♀️

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      1. I figured it was you when I saw Louisiana :-)

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    2. Graves in this cemetery have sunk over time. We don’t know why. As far as we know, there was no mining in the area. The cemetery usually takes care of it, bu they wait until autumn since any grass they plant won’t survive the summer heat. Our dad wasn’t willing to wait.

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  20. That’s terrific that you maintain the gravesites. When I visit my mom’s grave, I trim the excess grass and of course leave a lovely stone.
    As usual, your photos are amazing.

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    1. I think they would appreciate that, Lauren.

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  21. He-Man’s mom made really yummy perogies. I never tried to make them as I know they just wouldn’t be the same.

    I love the God Rays streaming through the clouds too. Those you saw were gorgeous.

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    1. That is exactly what I always think when I see them.

      My wife makes perogies they way her mom did, but she says they aren’t as good. They are very good, though.

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      1. That’s me with Cabbage rolls. He-Man’s mom gave me the recipe, but mine weren’t the same …something was missing so I made some changes and have my own.

        Like

  22. Fabulous pictures, as always! The blue jay in flight and the peeking squirrel are calendar-worthy.

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    1. The antics on that front porch, especially on a rainy day when everyone wants to eat under cover, leads to some good entertainment.

      Like

  23. petespringerauthor Avatar
    petespringerauthor

    I often find myself smiling about habits I swore I would never follow from my parents and have mysteriously picked up.🤣 Their influence continues to impact my choices, even years after their passing. Great post, Dan, especially the inside joke with your brother about what your dad would have said about the clippers.

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    1. We do become them, Pete. It’s not like were going to go there and not clean the dried grass off his headstone.

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  24. My husband and I do trimming and brushing around my parents’ headstones every year. We’ve also had to ask that one side be raised up because of it sinking.

    In looking at those dates, so many died young. I can’t imagine the loss of your grandfather and his two sisters all at one time. How horrible.

    In lighter matters, I loved the photos of the birds and squirrels. You caught some really great ones there, Dan!

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    1. Thanks Mae. Two years after those deaths, the Depression began. Life was pretty had for my grandmother, but she pulled her family through. She was a remarkable woman.

      I was amazed when I saw that I captured those birds at the start of their takeoff. I love that photo, but I would never get it if I was trying.

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      1. I’m amazed by the fortitude of those who lived through the Depression, Dan. Given the other tragedies your grandmother faced, she does indeed sound like a remarkable woman.

        Unexpected shots like the ones you captured are all the more amazing for their rarity!

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        1. She was, Mae. Maybe someday I will tackle her story.

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  25. It was Sita’s husband and their two daughters who died in the car accident, right? Now I have it. How sad! You have written about Sita before (I loved those stories), and I can’t imagine her grief. What a great trip with your brother. I enjoy cemeteries, too, especially the old ones here. Did you take some steel wool to the clippers when you got back home? 🙂 The sunrise photo is gorgeous!

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    1. Yes, that’s the basis of the Sita story where she told me not to worry about things. Her husband and three other men built the first church for their small community (Syrian Orthodox) about half a block down from her house. We always knew he was involved, but we never knew where that church had been. We visited the Historical Society this time, and a very nice woman helped us figure it out. They didn’t replace that church until after WWII, so my father would have walked to church with her until he joined the Army.

      I will clean the clippers before I put them away.

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      1. My goodness, thank you for filling in more about Sita. How old was she when her husband and daughters died? The fact that she had the attitude and presence to tell you ‘not to worry about things’ is a testament to her. I’m glad you visited the Historical Society and figured it out. I think of your father walking with his mother in the church.

        You dad will smile from above when you clean the clippers.

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        1. She was about 40. They had eight kids before the accident. She was a rock.

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          1. Wow! Rock is a good choice of works.

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  26. Very sorry about that long-ago car accident, Dan. The grave-tending efforts you related made for interesting, poignant reading.

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    1. Thanks Dave. That accident changed many lives, but everyone managed to get through the accident and the Depression that followed close on its heels.

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  27. Pierogi, Polish sausage, and noodles… save me some! Your grandmother was Orthodox?

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    1. Yes. In fact, after settling in that town, my grandfather and three other men turned a blacksmith’s shop into the first Orthodox church in the area. We finally discovered where it was on this trip.

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  28. Steel wool ranks right up there with duct tape for usefulness, doesn’t it?

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  29. My husband and I are planning a trip in the fall to northern Maine to check on my parents’ graves.

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    1. That should be a lovely drive.

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      1. Yes, it should be. (Much better than in the winter!)

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        1. I wouldn’t want to go too far north in Main in the winter

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          1. I wouldn’t advise it!

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  30. That is a wonderful connection to your history. You are very lucky. I still remember things my father said when I was a child and they will stay with me until the day I die. I like that.

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    1. He made a lifelong impression on us. Pam. We have many great memories. We take some to heart, and some make us laugh. We also notice how we become more and more like him as we grow older.

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  31. What a sad story about your father’s family. It must have been incredibly tragic for him and his mother.

    We visited several cemeteries (as one does) while traveling in Europe this spring and it always made me a little sad to see a grave in disrepair among so many that were lovingly tended. I figured that the last in a long family line had either died, or they had moved away.

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    1. My grandmother carried on after her husband and daughters died. It was hard, but she kept her family together and continued raising some young children (my dad was only 4).

      This cemetery does a good job of maintaining the grounds – not up to my father’s standards, but pretty good. It is sad to see forgotten graves.

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  32. We have a very old cemetery established in the 1860s that is just a few miles from where I live. I went to take photographs of it a few years ago as it considered a historical site. Because it was so old, no one visited their relatives/ancestors and the gravestones, especially the monuments, some quite elaborate, were in disrepair. The City didn’t even mow the lawn, so a group of volunteers tends to the graves, scrubbing the stones annually and mows the lawn. Residents in Wyandotte were outraged that the City wanted no part of the cemetery as the original cemetery owners had no descendants. The Jays sometimes sneak in and grab a peanut so quickly that the squirrels are oblivious to that mischief!

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    1. I visited an old cemetery around here where the town it’s in has largely ignored it. It is sad when that happens. Our daughter and I visited Centrailia, PA where an underground mine fire forced residents to abandon the town. We were happy to see that someone still maintains a cemetery that overlooks the town.

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      1. It is sad. We have another old and historic cemetery, but that city maintains that very small cemetery as there are no living relatives now. I’m glad someone still looks out for that abandoned town’s cemetery – people have their heart in the right place.

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  33. My dad used to stamp or write “Stolen from (his full name) ” on a lot of his books and other items. Great photos, especially the blue jay taking off!

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    1. Haha – I still have a 6-pack cooler that has his name written on it. He sometimes took his lunch in it. I got lucky with hat photo. I had no idea I had even captured him taking off until I was showing the photos to my wife later.

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  34. What a nice ritual you have!
    Beautiful photos, too.

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    1. Thanks Dale. It seems appropriate, and it’s cathartic.

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      1. I say, whatever works :)

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  35. Roberta Eaton Cheadle Avatar
    Roberta Eaton Cheadle

    Hi Dan, it’s wonderful that you tend the graves of your parents and grandparents so well. My parents both want to be cremated so there won’t be any graves.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. These two cemeteries are close to each other, so it’s an easy trip, and we enjoy the memories.

      Like

  36. Aww how sentimental. I come from a family obsessed with grave maintenance too. Such bonding memories.

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    1. Haha – it’s a labor of love.

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  37. I love the dadisms, Dan. Did you put some steel wool to those clippers yet? :) Definitely, my favorite of these is the blue jay stealing the peanut. What a fabulous shot!

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    1. I did clean those clippers, Jan. I would have cleaned them before going, but I forgot to pack them until I was ready to leave.

      I was 100% lucky capturing that blue jay. I didn’t even know that I had until I looked at my pictures later.

      Like

  38. That’s a special task caring for headstones. I love how we are all nudged by something, like the clippers you took. It reminds us how close our loved ones still are. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. He left a giant hole in our hearts when he died.

      Liked by 1 person

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