It’s Saturday. It has been a busy week—for some of us, and we are here at the bar to simply relax. OK, relax and wrestle with Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt.
“Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: ‘clown.’ Use it as a noun or a verb; use it any way you’d like. Have fun!”
And, for the first time in a few weeks, we just get to roll along with the thoughts at random.
If we were having a beer, you would be paying.
“Hi Dan. I guess it’s just you and me today.”
“And Cheryl. Don’t forget Cheryl.”
“If he forgets me, I’ll likely forget the cherries in his John Howell’s Special.”
“Oh no, Cheryl. I’ve been trying, and enjoying, different drinks, but I’m looking forward to settling back into my routine, and that involves…”
“A glass of John Howell’s Bourbon, a snifter of seltzer and a glass of ice. Yes, David, we know what your routine involves.”
“Well, I’m really looking forward to this drink. I almost got killed on the way over here.”
“David. Methinks you exaggerate a bit.”
“What? ‘Methinks.’ Who talks like that, Dan?”
“I see it sometimes on Twitter. It saves characters.”
“I thought Twitter was gone. Isn’t is X now?”
“Here’s your bourbon, David. Dan, here’s your Modelo, and in case you’re interested, the chef informed me that Teagan’s Stuffed Mushrooms have been added to the menu. I should also mention that if anyone wants a Sazerac, we still have absinthe.”
“I’ll spring for a couple orders of mushrooms, Cheryl. Absinthe is a bit of an acquired taste.”
“I’m sticking with beer today, Cheryl. And, as for your question, David. I’m still calling it Twitter.”
“Methinks that’s absurd, Dan.”
“What?”
“Using the archaic form of ‘It seems to me,’ saves five characters. On the other hand, ‘X’ uses six fewer characters than Twitter. I mean, if every character matters.”
“David, who besides you, would get all worked up over the use of ‘methinks’ ?”
“Joe Walsh.”
“Joe Walsh? The guitarist for the Eagles?”
“And…”
“And what? Are you referring to his solo career?”
“No, Dan. I’m referring to the song he wrote for the James Gang – ‘Walk Away’ – Remember?”
“Ah yes. It seems to me I do remember.”
“Can you image that song if Joe Walsh had written, ‘Methinks you don’t want to talk about it.’ I don’t think it flows as well.”
“Ok, you win, David. Now what on earth almost killed you on the way over here?”
“Some jackass passed me on the off ramp.”
“What, you weren’t exiting fast enough?”
“No, you don’t understand. I was coming up to my exit, and the guy behind me was trying to get me to go faster.”
“If you were getting ready to exit, you were in the right lane, right?”
“Right lane, left lane, middle lane—none of that matters anymore. People are crazy.”
“That is a sad truth, David. So, this guy got upset and used the ramp to pass you on the right?”
“No, not that guy. He cut off a tractor-trailer and passed me on the left. Another guy behind him passed me on the right—using the exit ramp as if it was a lane of travel.”
“So, if we go back to song lyrics, you had clowns to the left of you, jokers to the right…”
“Yes, stuck in the middle. I almost had to go down to the next exit.”
“Here you go guys, Teagan’s mushrooms. Two orders. You guys didn’t feel like sharing?”
“Restaurant math is the reason, Cheryl.”
“I don’t follow you, Dan.”
“Well look at this plate—eleven mushrooms. How are we supposed to share that. Do I arm wrestle David for the last one? I swear, if there were three of us sharing an order, there’d be fourteen mushrooms.”
“You know, Cheryl, I don’t like to admit it, but Dan’s right. Last night, my wife and I split an order of soft pretzels at…well, at a place in Hartford, and there were three pretzels.”
“So, you cut the third one in half, right?”
“No, I ate two. Methinks my wife was fine with one.”
Under the gallery, and the advertising by this boy, I’ve included the two songs hinted at in the conversation.
All five of my current books are now available in audio book form thanks to Amazon KDP’s Virtual Voice process. The voice is AI generated, but I can honestly say, it’s pretty darn good. The audio books are reasonably priced (all below $7 US) and, if you already own the Kindle version and want to add an audio version, you can do that for $1.99. There is a five-minute sample on the book page for each book. If you’re interested, click on any of the Dreamer’s Alliance book links below the image or on the link below for my latest book.
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