Happy Saturday. David and I are at the bar, but David is a little miffed about something. We’ll figure that out and we’ll deal with Linda’s prompt. I think an adult beverage will calm him down a little.
Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “phone.’” Use it any way you’d like. Have fun!
If we were having a beer, your whatevers would seem to be in a twist.
“Hi David.”
“Hi Dan. Where’ve you been?”
“I don’t understand. We meet here every Saturday. It’s Saturday and I’m here.”
“But you’ve been absent in WordPress. You’ve been late visiting blogs and even late responding to comments on your own blog.”
“I’m sorry, did you leave me a comment that I didn’t respond to?”
“No, I don’t leave comments.”
“You’re a lurker?”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing. I read people’s blogs, but I don’t have a WordPress account, so I don’t Like or comment.”
“But you’re complaining about me.”
“I look for your comments. That way I know how you feel about things, and I can decide if I want to talk about those things.”
“If you want to know what I think, you could call. You do have a phone, don’t you?”
“Before you two start marking your territory in ways I don’t want to imagine, can I get you your usual drinks?”
“Yes, Thank you Curley. I don’t think this conversation is going to get any worse than it is.”
“If you say so, David.”
“You want to move on to football, or cars, or inflation, or any one of a hundred better topics than this one, David.”
“How ‘bout we start over. Have you been busy lately — I’m just asking out of idle curiosity.”
“As a matter of fact, I have been busy.”
“Doing what, Dan?”
“Well, I have a work-in-progress I’ve been working on since April, and I have a new project in my shop, and…”
“A work in progress? You just released a book in July.”
“Yes, but that went through protracted beta-read and editing cycles. I like to be always have a writing project to work on.”
“What about that short story you wrote?”
“Wrote — past tense. I like to have something to write.”
“Maybe if you set your writing aside, you’d have more time for woodworking.”
“Unlikely.”
“Why not?”
“I get up at five-fifteen to write.”
“Five-fifteen in the morning?”
“Yes. I doubt my neighbors would appreciate me using power tools at that hour.”
“In our association, you couldn’t use power tools at any hour, if your neighbors could hear them.”
“Sounds like I wouldn’t fit in.”
“Oh, Dan, you wouldn’t.”
“Okay guys. A John Howell’s Special for the snooty one and a cold Modelo for the woodworker.”
“I’m not snooty, Curley!”
“Don’t yell at Curley, David. Of course you’re snooty\. You just don’t know it because you spend your life around people like you.”
“With the exception of Saturdays at the bar with you.”
“There is that.”
“I only meant that you would have to cut your grass more often, and you’d have to get rid of those pumpkin plants.”
“I cut my grass roughly once a week.”
“Roughly meaning every seven to ten days. We look for every five to seven days.”
“What’s wrong with Linus’ pumpkins?”
“You can have a vegetable garden, but it needs to be less than one hundred and twenty square feet.”
“The pumpkins cover way more than that, but we didn’t plant them. Linus buried the seeds we put out for the birds.”
“That’s another thing, Dan. We only allow feeding the birds between November first and March thirty first.”
“That’s crazy!”
“Not really. It just restricts feeding to the period in which natural food isn’t available.”
“But David. There is no natural food. I drive through your neighborhood, and you all have those ‘pesticide applied’ signs. That’s what the birds used to eat. Do you know that we’ve lost one third of the birds in this country since nineteen seventy?”
“I didn’t know that.”
“It’s true.”
“Dan, just don’t move into our association. Curley, another round, please.”
All five of my current books are now available in audio book form thanks to Amazon KDP’s Virtual Voice process. The voice is AI generated, but I can honestly say, it’s pretty darn good. The audio books are reasonably priced (all below $7 US) and, if you already own the Kindle version and want to add an audio version, you can do that for $1.99. There is a five-minute sample on the book page for each book. If you’re interested, click on any of the Dreamer’s Alliance book links below the image or on the link below for my latest book.
Sorry for the political ad you might get if you play this song by ELO. I don’t make the ad choices.
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