Welcome to the first Saturday of winter. Unless you’re one of those folks on the west coast who reads this before going to bed. Winter doesn’t/didn’t start until 3:21 am. At least it’s one of my favorite times. Anyway, winter is like any other season here at the bar. David and I come in, sit down and treat ourselves to an adult beverage, some lighthearted banter and perhaps a snarky line or two. We have it on good authority that Santa doesn’t update his lists while inside bars. Linda has given us a prompt to work with, and it’s a nice one for the season:
Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “wish.” Use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!
SoCS by Linda G. “Holiday” Hill
If we were having a beer, you’d be wondering about the weather we’ve been having.
“Good afternoon, Dan. Come in and know me better man.”
“Wow! What happened to David the Grinch?”
“Cheryl poured me a glass of John Howell’s Bourbon — on the house.”
“A last-minute attempt to get on Santa’s good list, Cheryl?”
“What makes you think I haven’t been on the good list for three hundred and sixty-six days, Dan?”
“I’m just kidding, Cherly. I appreciate your giving him that bourbon because I’m paying today.”
“Not only that, Dan, but your first Modelo is on the house as well. The owner told us to treat any of his regulars who came in today to a free drink.”
“That’s a nice gesture.”
“He may be working his way off the naughty list, but no one here is looking a gift reindeer in the mouth.”
“Cheers, Dan!”
“Cheers, David and happy winter.”
“Happy winter? Dan, that’s like wishing me a happy root canal.”
“I know you’re not a fan of winter, David, but you stay here with us. You don’t run away to Florida, so I thought I’d make you feel good about your choice.”
“The only good thing about the first day of winter is that we’re one day closer to the first day of spring.”
“Well, you might not notice it today, but we’ll soon be adding minutes of daylight every single day, David.”
“What I’m noticing today, Dan is that the low temperature tonight is supposed to be seven degrees*.”
“Are you going out tonight?”
“No, but that doesn’t change the fact that it will be cold out there.”
“Well, if I got my wish, we’d get some snow during this cold snap so we could have a white Christmas.”
“Is Santa bringing you a shovel, Dan?”
“Next year. I think the ones I have will last through the season.”
“Last? What do mean, last?”
“They wear out, David. Shovels are plastic and pushing them along the pavement wears them out.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“Cuz you don’t shovel.”
“I don’t, usually, but I do own a shovel. Sometimes I have to get out before my guy comes.”
“You shovel your driveway?”
“No, don’t be absurd. I shovel the snow away from the garage door.”
“I can see why you haven’t worn out your shovels yet.”
“Shovels? You keep using the plural form. Do you have more than one shovel, Dan?”
“I do. In fact, I have several. I have a small one for the steps, one that fits in between the hand rails, and…”
“I didn’t ask for the complete inventory. Just skip to the end. Which one do you use most often?”
“The human plow. It’s good for pushing light amounts of snow, but not for lifting.”
“I get it. At what point to you bring out the blower?”
“Three inches of light fluffy stuff or two inches of heavy wet snow.”
“Three inches doesn’t sound like much, Dan.”
“You don’t have a sidewalk, David. We have to clear the sidewalk, and the snow plow pushes the snow from the street onto the walk — especially the light and fluffy stuff.”
“I see. You know, talking to you makes me more comfortable with the amount I pay my guy.”
“Comfortable enough to buy us a couple orders of Teagan’s Mushrooms?”
“No, not that comfortable.”
*That’s -14 degrees Celsius
No Facilities 
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