Happy Saturday! David and I invite you to join us vicariously at the bar where we’ll wrangle with Linda’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt, down a few cocktails and maybe have a bite to eat. You never know where the conversation will go.
Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “crackle.” Use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!
SoCS by Linda G. Hill
If we were having a beer, you’d be in a good mood.
“Look who’s here, my two favorite customers.”
“Hi Curley. I pulled in just as David was getting out of his car.”
“He almost took my door off.”
“Okay, okay, you guys are safe inside now, unless you’re going to fight over what barstool you want. The place is empty, so you can sit anywhere you like.”
“David likes the corners.”
“I do, Dan. If I’m in the corner, I can turn toward you without worrying about someone on the other side.”
“Someone on the other side, what? Piking your pocket? Stealing your cherries?”
“Hey, we have a civilized clientele here. You guys ready to order? I should say, are you guys ready for your drinks because ordering isn’t really what you do.”
“Pour me a Modelo, Curley, and start the assembly process on the old man’s John Howell’s Special.”
“Are you two done picking on me?”
“ ‘Done’ implies a permanent state. I think it would be more accurate to say ‘we’re done for now’. At least I am.”
“I’m not worried about anyone stealing my cherries, Dan. Although, I do like the fact that I can safely unlock my phone.”
“David, the only app you have on your phone is the weather.”
“That’s not true, Dan. I also have the stupid app for adjusting my hearing aid.”
“I thought you liked that feature.”
“I do, but I’m not fond of having something crackling away inside my ear that talks to my phone, and then to the Cloud — wherever the heck that is.”
“Here you go, guys. Cold beer, glass of bourbon, snifter of seltzer, a glass of ice and three cherries. You thinking about some food?”
“I think we might get a couple orders of Teagan’s mushrooms.”
“I’ll put those in after I check the lounge.”
“Cheers, Dan. Have you switched your shed around to spring mode?”
“No. I don’t trust March, so I never put the snowblower away until April. I have raked up some peanut shells, and picked up some trash that blew into our yard.”
“Blew in from where?”
“Who knows. It blows down the street and literally turns up our driveway. Then it gets tangled in the bushes.”
“Why does it turn at your place?”
“We’re on a slight curve, and the bushes and our neighbor’s fence behind them are a windbreak.”
“Did you take your snow stakes out of the ground?”
“No. I never do that until I can be outside in a tee-shirt.”
“You have some odd guidelines, my young friend.”
“Hey, if I’m still cold outside, it might still snow.”
“I don’t think that’s necessarily true, but you’re entitled to your quirky habits.”
“Right now, with the exception of one crocus, the snow stakes are the only bits of color in our yard.”
“I thought you planted bulbs last fall.”
“I did. I planted almost two dozen, but nothing has sprouted.”
“Maybe it’s still too cold.”
“Maybe somebunny ate the bulbs.”
“Mine haven’t sprouted yet, and I don’t have any unwanted lifeforms in my yard.”
“I love our bunnies, and our squirrels and birds, David. You’re missing out living in that fertilized, pesticide covered lifeless field.”
“That’s a little harsh, Dan. I’ll have you know that I purchase the ‘minimal environmental impact’ service from my landscaper.”
“What does ‘minimal environmental impact’ mean?”
“I don’t know, I chose it because it’s the cheapest plan that includes weeding the beds.”
“Like at the car wash? Get the cheapest service that includes underbody wash?”
“Exactly.”
“Hey guys, I have some good news and some bad news for you.”
“What’s up, Curley?”
“Our new apprentice cook overstuffed the mushrooms, and they all broke apart in the oven. We don’t have any available to sell, but we’re giving these away.”
“Overstuffed and free? What’s the bad news?”
“You can’t have a full order because he also dropped half of them on the floor.”
“Is he out looking for a new job?”
“No, the chef has a sliding three-strikes scale.”
“How does that work?”
“One mistake is free. Mistake number two comes out of your pay, at full retail. If you can afford that, you can stay until mistake number three — then you’re gone.”
“I hope his next mistake is a basket of French fries.”
All five of my current books are now available in audio book form thanks to Amazon KDP’s Virtual Voice process. The voice is AI generated, but I can honestly say, it’s pretty darn good. The audio books are reasonably priced (all below $7 US) and, if you already own the Kindle version and want to add an audio version, you can do that for $1.99. There is a five-minute sample on the book page for each book. If you’re interested, click on any of the Dreamer’s Alliance book links below the image or on the link below for my latest book.
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