Happy Saturday. David and I are back at the bar after a couple of weeks of needed R&R for me, and…well, we’re not sure what fresh hell David endured, but I’m sure we’ll find out soon. We’ll also try to untangle the string Linda gave us.
Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “simple.” Use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!
I think we can work with that.
If we were having a beer, there would be money on the line.
“Welcome back David.”
“Thanks Dan. It’s good to be back. It was…”
“Hold that thought, we have to wait for Curley.”
“Huh? Why? I mean besides my not having any bourbon to sip.”
“Hey guys. Sorry I’m late. I had to deliver an order to the lounge. David, Dan and I have a bet.”
“A bet…dealing somehow with me?”
“Yes, it’s a simple bet. Dan’s buying the drinks and food today. If he wins, I’ll cover the tab. If I win, he tips me at one hundred percent.”
“And the bet?”
“I say your trip was better than you thought it would be. Dan says it was even worse than you imagined.”
“I’m sorry Curley, but you’ll be paying. Unless you want to cry ‘foul’ given how much longer Dan has known me.”
“Nah, it was more wishful thinking on my part.”
“So, David, was there one particularly bad moment, or was the bad spread across the entire trip?”
“It started with one particularly bad moment, Dan but it never recovered.”
“OK, let’s get something to drink before you regale us with your tale of woe. Curley, a John Howell’s Special for my buddy and a beer for me.”
“I have them ready. I even put a few extra cherries in for David.”
“Cheers, and thanks guys. It’s good to be back where I can enjoy myself.”
“When did the trip start going bad, David?”
“When I first stopped for gas. It was one of those big stations with a dozen pumps for trucks on the back side and another dozen for cars out front.”
“Easy-on—Easy-off?”
“What is it you say that I hate, Dan…yes and no.”
“What happened?”
“The gas pump didn’t shut off when the tank was full. Gasoline spilled all over my car and soaked my right shoe and sock.”
“Oh, that’s awful. What did you do?”
“My wife moved the car. I told the attendant inside what happened. He said ‘Oh, we know about that pump.’ Like it was no big deal.”
“What did you say then?”
“Nothing I can repeat here. The guy let me use one of their showers to clean up, and he gave me a pair of plastic shower clogs and a coupon for a free slice of Sparrow’s pizza.”
“Ooh, that’s pretty good pizza.”
“Dan, those shoes cost me over a hundred dollars!”
“I was just trying to look at the bright side.”
“You’d need a magnifying glass.”
“Did you guys drive straight through to Florida?”
“No. We were going to, but when it was my sister-in-law’s turn to drive, she said she was too tired.”
“So, a night in a hotel.”
“Motel—shabby motel—reminiscent of the Bate’s Motel in Psycho.”
“Not even a Super Eight?”
“Nope. The place was packed with truckers. One room left with two beds and a shower that wasn’t nearly as clean as the one at the gas station.”
“One big happy for the night, huh?”
“For the night? I wish. My wife thought it would be a good idea to spend time with her sister, so she booked the three of us into a small suite in Florida.”
“Were there any good parts on the ride?”
“The best parts of the drive were when we hit construction zones—it gave me a chance to be annoyed but have it look like it wasn’t because of the two people in the car with me.”
“Did you make it out to the Cape?”
“I did. My wife’s cousin Jimmy and I got to see the liftoff of the new crew heading for the space station—two days and a night of real vacation.”
“How was the wedding?”
“Awful.”
“How bad could a wedding be? I mean they did get married, right?”
“Oh, they got married, outside in Orlando’s famous heat and humidity. The bride and groom left right after the ceremony to get to Fort Lauderdale for a honeymoon cruise, and I was stuck at a picnic lunch with a bunch of my wife’s relatives.”
“Where did you stay on the way home?”
“We didn’t. I made my sister-in-law drive first, and I drove through the night.”
“Are those your new shoes? They look nice.”
“This is my second pair. I bought a cheap pair in Florida. Then, on the way home, a urinal stuck open and flooded the Men’s Room in a different gas station.”
“You couldn’t get out of the way?”
“I was busy!”
“Oh, I get it. Curley, I’ll cover this tab.
Below the gallery is a video I thought of when David talked about the hotel. Maybe he should have traveled with the Muppets.
And now for that bit of marketing
You can purchase Poetic Justice in any format you like:
- Kindle – https://relinks.me/B0FBLH5YKB
- Paperback – https://relinks.me/B0FBRCQSHQ
- Audio – https://relinks.me/B0DP5FR58S
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